


This Ain't Some Speed Racer Shit

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Car Accidents, Fist Fights, M/M, Racing, Sex in a Car, Swearing, so minor blood??, soon to come, terrible and lazy editing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-20 23:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3668415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk Strider is one of the faster drag racers in L.A. Fast enough apparently that he catches the eye of a sponsor in one of the biggest illegal drag race competition in the world.<br/>It's already hard enough with the intimidating racers surrounding him but it's even harder when your biggest rival is hot as hell.</p><p>Based off an AU DerseDreambot had spoken to me about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sdney, Australia

To be honest, you're not sure how all of this racing business started out. Maybe it started that night just a few years back where you were a teen who was itching for the perfect moment to rebel against his guardian. And that night you got to do just that when your friend Roxy helped sneak you out to the illegal drag races she's always flagging for and she was able to even sneak you into the race. Even now that you think about it, you're still unsure if it was the sudden rush of adrenaline or the fact that you were going against your brother's word of staying out of trouble, but as soon as your foot pressed down on that gas pedal you were instantly addicted to everything about it. From the sudden push back where the momentum of the car pushes you back into your seat roughly to the rapid gush of wind that hits you when you have the windows down to taunt other drivers. All of this and more soaked into your blood stream that night and ever since then you've attended every race Roxy's in and others besides those.   
Of course your brother isn't aware of this. He wouldn't be with the busy life he has back in movie director city but you're still careful with it all since he has the two robots you created watch over you. But it's easy to step around them and leave with the car you're always upgrading as soon as you get the chance. And if your brother even is home, it doesn't matter because he just believes you're working on a new robot if you're in the garage and not on your Koenigsegg Agera R that you only mainly use for for racing and speeding away from cops when they try to bust the races.   
But recently, those illegal races have changed. Or at least they're changed drastically for you. After your last race, someone with Roxy had approached you. They had come from Poland to offer you a place in one of the largest drag race competitions that exist. At first you were going to turn down the offer after hearing that you'll have to travel around the world for this but after a bit of persuading and fifteen beers later, you were in and that brings you to where you are now.  
To be honest, you were never knew that the weather in Australia could actually feel nice in this time of the year. You always imagined it being so hot to the point it would be in the 30's Celsius all year long. But here in Sydney, sixteen degrees Celsius is manageable and feels better than what you have to deal with back in California.   
On the first day you got here, Roxy was absolutely fawning over everything she saw. From the beaches to the city, she just wanted to go everywhere. Which you allowed her to do while you worked on your car for the upcoming race. It wasn't really made to race out in the desert and was more or so built to work in the city but you could easily fix that. Which you do manage to do in the three days you have until the race.   
You manage to convince Roxy to wait at the finish line for you instead of staying back in the city at the night of the race. The air is cool which you enjoy but intimidation is heavy in the air as you and other selected races begin to line up at the heart of Sydney. You look at the other cars around you and the bright neon colors around you from some of them is already starting to give you a headache. There's a few decent colored ones but the one that mainly catches your eyes is the to your left that's in the shade of a dark forest green with a lighter green skull on the side of it. You stare at it a bit longer since you seem to remember it from somewhere but your attention gets yanked away to the front where you see a slightly short and plump woman walk in front of the cars with race flags in both hands.   
As soon as she raised them, your gloved hands place themselves on the steering wheel and your foot stomps down on the gas pedal once they fly down, signaling that the race has began. Easily the drivers flow around the girl and speed down the road, trying to get past others. You're already flying down the road, fast enough that your car raises off into the air a bit when you go down a hill. You have the dark green car off to your right now, easily catching up and some other driver ahead of the two of you in a black, sleek SSC Ultimate Aero with a grey and red Ophiuchus symbol on it. The two of you are toe-n-toe at first as the three of your cars bump and try to push past each other through the city and on the street. But was soon as you and the others reach outside the city limits and are in open land, you turn your car off the road before pressing down on the gas pedal to speed up. Easily you pass by the SSC Ultimate Aero that's still traveling by road and leave behind the car that was trailing behind you. At this point you can already tell you're in the lead as you continue on. They never said in the rules you weren't allowed to drive off-road.   
For a majority of the ride to the finish line your content that you're already so far ahead of everyone and when you're only a few miles away from the town of Menindee, you decide to turn back onto the road. But that all comes crashing down as soon as you spot a small dust cloud behind you car. As it gets closer, you realize it's the green car from earlier. And they're catching up faster than you thought they would.   
Pressing down roughly on the gas pedal, you try to get further ahead but only realize that they're caught up when it's too late. You try to turn in towards them to push them off the road but they only hit the breaks, making you drive off the road again. You grit your teeth as you try to turn back onto the road. You can already see the outskirts of the town as you both get close and desperately try to run the opposing car off the road again. This time they only speed up and you're only left with trying to speed past them.   
You notice that they're starting to slow down a bit and only chuckle at them. They must be running out of gas quickly. You speed up again and drive past them, the taste of victory at the tip of your tongue.   
There's a saying that says “Assuming makes an ass out of you and me” but right now that saying doesn't make sense to you as you nearly reach the finish line before the ass themselves comes out of fucking no where and beats you by a fucking second. Both of your cars screech to a stop after that as a crowd begins to form around the two of you. You're instantly out of your car, more pissed than you should really be and approach the man who comes out of the car to tell him “Fuck you.”   
But those plans strip away as soon as they turn around and you're greeted by the hottest man you've seen in your life. The death glare you are sending him behind your shades vanish as soon as he gives you a warm smile and grabs the hand you hand out to point at him, shaking it. “Good race, mate!” he said and Jesus fuck, he has an accent and he's Australian.   
You only weakly shake his hand back, mumbling a “Same to you” before he lets go of his hand, the other racers finally catching up. With all the racers finally there, the same plump female from the beginning of the race stands on a small portable stage with a microphone in her hand.   
“First place belongs to GolgothasTerror!” she announces and instantly you remember why that skull looked so familiar to you. Because that hot piece of man that made your anger quickly go away was none other than the champion of the competition from last year.


	2. A New Addiction-Sydney, Austrailia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just listened to nightcore and fxxk boys get money on repeat while writing this

The next night after that frustrating and confusing race, you're invited to a party being hosted by the founder and lead sponsor of these races-Lord English himself. Of course you at first refuse to go but Roxy gets you to come along with her. She struck a deal with you that if you could just go in normal clothing you will go and she allows you to do that. But now as you stand here in a large pent house filled with people helping sponsoring this competition and the other racers along with other people you wouldn't care for, you feel completely undressed for this occasion. Most of the men are wearing suits or at least a dress shirt with a nice pair of pants and the woman wearing dresses showing off their curves and such. Even Roxy is wearing a slender dress that sparkles in the right light and is a dark shade of hot pink, showing off exactly how curvy and thin she is. You can easily recognize it being the dress your brother had given to her as a birthday present from last year.  
But you, however, stand out like a sore thumb. The baggy pants you wear with your t-shirt is obviously not a perfect match for this event and you're about to leave turn around and make your leave when you're stopped by a rather shorter man who's bald.   
“You broke the fucking rules,” he says to you and you only raise an eyebrow over your shades in confusion. “I would have fucking run if you wouldn't have cheated and gone off the road!” Oh, now you know who this guy is.  
“Sorry squirt, but there was nothing in the rulebook that didn't say I broke the rules. There was nothing in there stating that.” You see his eye twitch at the name 'squirt'.  
“You better watch what your saying, human pig. My dad is the one who's leading this shit and is the one that made the rules.”  
“Well then maybe your dad shouldn't leave out so many loopholes in the hand guide for me to drive through,” you tell him. He seems to get more angered at that before he smirks.  
“Oh. I know who you are. You're the famous bloke TimaeusTestified from America, aren't you? A man that always finds loopholes and has the emotions of a fucking robot. It would explain why you're dressed like some piece of shit. Do tell me. Is it true that the woman over there is your 'ho' as you Americans call it?”  
Now it's your turn for your eye to twitch but you don't let any other emotion appear. “Damn, seems like someone just suddenly grew balls. For a second there, I just thought you were a high-pitched woman who's forgotten to change her bloody tampon. My bad.”  
“Listen here you prick.” He growls a bit as he leans in and sticks a finger at you. You lean away instantly.  
“Don't get in my personal space. You'll regret it,” you warn him before he continues to speak.   
“I don't care. If I want to get in your space, I will because I can easily get you kicked out if I want you to. If you can't tell, I have the power here.”  
“And if you can't tell, I don't give two shits that you have power or money. At least I don't go running to my dad with my tails between my legs because of some guy I don't like. Because I'm not weak, unlike you.”  
You're not sure if you regret calling him weak in this second now because he comes to you with speed you weren't expecting, punching you hard enough that you cut your lip with your teeth. You react quickly and bring up your fists, punching him back. Everything quickly builds up after that, the two of you go at it back and forth at trying to fuck up the other one. However, it ends quickly when someone grabs the short man's hand when he goes to punch you for the fifth time after pinning you to a wall.   
“I do believe that's enough, Caliborn.” You look to see that it's none other than the champion and you only just want to be home now because you probably look like a wreck now with your cracked and crooked shades. He manages to pull this Caliborn away from you and offers to help you. Again for the second time today you want to say no but he doesn't even give you the chance before he's leading you away from the party to a balcony that gives you a breathtaking view of the city's lights.  
He leaves you there for a minute before coming back with a napkin full of ice and another damp napkin. As he rolls up his sleeves and has you sit down in a chair, you again feel under dressed and this time intimidated because this man, even though looking like a nerd with his bowtie and suspenders, is hotter than he should be and he looks better dressed than you do. You're silent as he removes your shades since you close your eyes and nearly flinch away from him when you feel the cold dampness of the napkin.   
“So what's your name?” he asks you, obviously wanting to start small talk. You decide to not deny him of this because fuck he's a champion, your rival, and hot.   
“ TimaeusTestified,” you mumble. He only chuckles at that.   
“No, I'm talking about your real name.”  
“Dirk.”  
“Just Dirk? No last name. Or first name? Because for all I know you can just be giving me a last name.”  
“Dirk Strider.”   
“Dirk Strider, huh? Seems to fit for you. The name's Jake English.” Just from judging by the tone of his voice, he's probably smile. “You seem to take in a beating quite well. That's good. Means you're quite the sturdy one.” You only hum a bit in response before he places the napkin of ice over one of your eyes that's starting to form a bruise around it. Meaning you can't put on your shades yet. “Which would explain a lot about you. You didn't seem to give up at all during that race last night. I do have to admit, you almost beat me there if I hadn't hit the gas at the right time. I tend to get distracted easily.”  
“Right. And why are you telling me this?” It comes out a bit more aggressive then you wanted it to but he doesn't seem to notice.  
“Because you seem like a nice fellow to chat to. It's hard to do that when everyone here just sees each other as enemies. You know, there's a lot of good people here, some that I would love to be my friend, but it's just so hard to get them to look past that.”   
Holy shit. If you had the insanity to have your eyes opened, they would be wide opened at that. You were expecting him to pull you out to just make fun of you or threaten you to not make a move on Caliborn again; not him attempting to become your friend.   
You might as well go the fuck along with it because you get two things out of it. Either him becoming a powerful ally in this race and helping you win or even getting a chance to get into bed with this man.   
“Yeah, I can see where you getting at. That's what it's like in all races. The only person I really have is Roxy.”  
“Heh, I'm exactly the same. Except her name's Jane. I've known her since I was child. The only real friend I've got.”  
“Well then how about we fix that then, English? I wouldn't mind making a friend. And I'm sure Roxy would love to hear that I have a new friend finally.” You remove the ice from your eye before slipping your shades on to open your eyes and look at him. Yup, he's definitely smiling. And fuck, even though he has a small, unnoticeable overbite, it's still cute.  
“Gosh golly, Strider. Why that would be fantastic. The only thing is, how would I know you're telling the truth?”   
“Because you only tell your secrets to your friends.” That instantly catches his attention.   
“Alright then. I'll play your game. I'll tell you a secret after you tell me one.”  
“Can do.” You sit there and ponder for a minute, the thick taste of iron still in your mouth and your head throbbing a bit in light pain. “Alright. In the very first race I've ever been in, I actually placed the guy who owned a car in the race in a choker hold and stole his car. I won first place that night.”   
He blinks a bit at that before laughing a little. “Okay then. I'm sure I can't top that but I can tell you that I actually used to be the worst driver ever. I used to crash into everything when I got my first car.”  
“And yet now you drive like a pro?” you say. “Pft, nice English.”  
The two of you continue to talk for the rest of the night until you realize how late it's getting. The only issue you come across then is that you learned that Roxy had taken the car back to the hotel, bringing along a few friends with her. And it just gets worse when you realized you left your wallet in your car so there's no way of getting a cab, if they even have any. But, oh, does your knight in a shiny helmet come in need when you're desperate for help.   
Jake learns about your small misfortune and offers you a ride to his place where you can stay for the night. You want to say no to both off offers because for fuck's sake you two barely know each other to your standards and he's already starting to become a new addiction to you. But, you have to. Because you two are new best chums as he says it and you need to make your bond stronger if you want to reach either of your goals.  
It seems as though he has his own home and isn't like the rest of the racers where he needs to stay and a hotel. And it also seems that instead of riding a car he took a motorcycle which means that the whole way there you have to cling to him like a child. All the way back to Menidee. Before the two of you are even there you're already resting your head on his back with a scarlet blush staining your cheeks.   
Again, you were expecting something different from what you got. Instead of living in a mansion of sorts, Jake lives in a normal house like anyone else.   
And if you thought it could get anymore awkward for you, the fact that you now lay here in his pajamas in his bed with him laying next to you just makes you want to squirm. He's a cuddler in his sleep. You learn this quickly as you lay in the cool bed next to him with his arms around you and your face is hidden in his chest.   
Now you know that you don't regret calling Caliborn weak because instead of sitting there restlessly because of some racing issue, you lay here unable to sleep because someone you're already crushing on is holding you close.  
And you know that you're definitely addicted to him.  
Probably more addicted than you are to racing. And that's probably an issue for you but for now, all you can do is enjoy this feeling while it last.


	3. Nedre Frei, Norway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg this is so short and probably shitty jesus christ I swear I'll make up for it soon

To be completely honest, you hate water. You grew up around it as a child since your brother owned a private island that you were raised on and then of course the fucker had to get a house next to the beach in your teen years. And now here you are on the outskirts of Nedre Frei, Norway as it rains freezing rain with the other racers. You prefer land over water but today you'll have to deal with that water. Your goal is in the town of Farstad but sadly the only way to get there unless you feel like miserably losing is across the most dangerous road in the country: the Atlantic Ocean Road. Of course it would have to be by fucking water. In fact, most of it cuts through the water with waves high enough to splash onto the curvy and sleek road and drivers traveling by it.   
It's going to be dangerous, but it'll be worth it.   
The flagger this time isn't Jane-who you ended up meeting after that awkward night in Jake's house. In fact it's tall and lanky woman who you can tell is wearing a wig or extensions at least and a green suit on. She seems a bit nervous about this and glances off to the side where you follow her gaze to land on Roxy, who gives her a thumbs up and a wide smile. You suddenly remember the woman now as Calliope, another friend of Roxy's that she made that night.   
You're sure she flinches as soon as she brings the flags down but you're not sure because you're already speeding away along with the other racers. Just like before, the first three in the lead is yourself along with Caliborn and Jake. However, this time you have no choice but to stay on the road. You're pretty sure that stuck up brat complained to his dad about you 'breaking' the rules and now you're going to make him regret that. As soon as you get the chance, you direct your car to ram into the side of Caliborn's car and watch in satisfaction as his car runs off the side of the road.   
But quickly your focus gets brought to the bright violet car that emerges off to your left. You have to slam down on your brakes to prevent them from hitting your car and just judging from how fast they had moved, you can easily calculate that your car would probably be flipped. Jake's still in the lead but you can see that the car ahead of you is targeting Jake to try and ram into him as well. You've only made it to Kristiasund and someones already trying to kill the drivers in this race. You can't really do much in the city except for speeding you car up enough to get ahead of the threatening opponent to keep them from hitting Jake. But this plan only gets you getting hit instead, your car lurching forward every time they hit it from behind. It takes nearly all your control of the car to keep it from driving into the walls of the tunnel you must go through.   
But now that you're in an enclosed space, the lights of your cars bounce off of the walls and make the place brighter than it should and you can hear the loud beat of dubstep coming out of the violet car echoing off the walls that you had never noticed. They manage to force you back and away from protecting Jake and they go straight for him. You're not about to let that happen though.  
As soon as the three of you make it into open land again, you make a move for the car and hit them as hard as your car can allow, watching them swerve and scrape against a small cliff. The whole trip there, you fight this car off and away from Jake's car because you need to become more of a friend towards Jake if you any benefit from this friendship. Of course this is at a great risk of your life doing this because this person can easily crush you into a wall when there is one or flip your car over if you don't speed up or slow down at the perfect time.  
But that risk skyrockets into the air when you reach the bridge. The rain had began to pour down harder then before, making the road slicker than it should be. The road itself is dark and narrow along with inclines and sharp turns. This is a true test to see who has the best control of their car. Which Jake seems to have completely in this situation as he keeps his car from swerving all over the place, unlike yourself. But then again, English doesn't have a car trying to run him off the bridge.   
Your vehicle gets smashed into the railing on your left and you grit your teeth as you try to ignore the ferocious looking sea next to you. You end up shaking them off before you must take a wide turn, nearly crashing into the railing. You bump into it however and that instantly makes your instincts kick in for driving 'dirty'. You really haven't done it in a while but this person is starting to tick you off.   
You wait until they start speeding up towards the back of your car and you suddenly hit the brakes. The sicking crashing noise fills your ears but you start back up, quickly driving up ahead. Thankfully you get off the road alive and you're in a brief moment of relief before the prick in the purple car is back. This time you glance at the GPS in your car, your mind quickly making a plan to get rid of them. As soon as your cars reach where Route 64 branches off onto the left, you make the left instead of going straight and make a sharp turn before going full force into the purple car, pushing them into the railing. They crash into it and you have to give yourself a moment to breath before you back up and continue going. At this point, your car is fucked up but at least you had to gain some of Jake's trust.   
At the finish line, Jake's waiting for you and you can see all signs of worry on his face. You get out and he immediately goes straight to you.  
“Dirk! You bloody moron! What were you thinking?” he says, grabbing your shoulders and fuck, his grip is tight.   
“They were trying to run you off so I was just doing what any other friend would do and protected you.” You give him a shrug as you keep yourself expressionless, even though the look he's giving you is killing you a little.   
“Just-I was scared for Christ sake! Never get me worried that again, chap. You hear?”  
“Loud and clear.” You offer him a lopsided grin, which is all you can muster yourself to do even though it's small, to show you understand and that you're okay and he pats you on the shoulder, smiling back.   
And yet again, Jake gets first place. But this time you're not planning on telling him to fuck off; even if you got in fifth place this time.


	4. Someplace, Norway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone who's been leaving kudos and all of you who have been leaving such lovely, lovely comments!   
> I'm so so soooooooooo sorry it took me forever to come out with this chapter. I've been moving and well I also have school work to catch up on. But hopefully chapter five won't take as long to be worked on!!

By now, you've easily figure out that most of your choices in if you want to go out and be social is no longer in question and Roxy will only drag you along, even if you need to fix your car from the shitty condition it's in. Just like now. She managed to force you into something decent for once instead of sweats and a t-shirt and tells you that you have to at least look a little bit nice for where you're going. In your opinion, a small hole-in-the-wall club is not some place you need to look nice for.   
She drags you in before she tells you to go make a friend or two and leaves you alone. You watch her for a moment as she goes up to her friends Calliope and Jane and gives each of them a kiss on the lips. Calliope easily gets flustered and covers her face while Jane only returns the kiss by giving her one on her cheek. She turns back to face you and makes a small shooing motion towards the bar. With a heavy sigh and adjusting your shades, you move towards the bar. You decide to sit towards the end to keep any attention away from you and you order yourself just a glass of water. Drinking isn't really much of your thing.  
The music playing is mildly okay though it doesn't really fit your taste in music and you glance at the crowd on the dance floor nearby. Roxy seems to be having fun with her friends and the crowd is a bit more lively than you would expect it to be. You turn back to face the bar, only to nearly jump out of your skin when you see Jake sitting next to you, talking it up with the bartender before ordering a drink. Once he gets it, he thanks them before he looks at you and smiles that stupid wide grin of his.   
“I-uh, Jake. Hi.”  
“G'Day, mate.” He smile only widens a bit and you can already feel your insides turning to mush. “Roxy was texting me and told me that I should leave the 'boring party' I was at to come here since you were drinking with the flies.”  
You only raise a single eyebrow at his phrase and don't even bother to ask what he just said. He spoke like this with you before when you had that awkward evening at his home.   
“To be completely honest, I believe I was doing just fine. Roxy's just saying that because she's trying to pull away as many people as she can from the race's party.”  
“Bull dust!” You nearly snort a small laugh but instead you stop yourself from even cracking a smile. “It's never fun to drink alone. I can tell you that right now. Done it a few times myself.” He pauses to drink the drink he had ordered and you take this moment to look over at Roxy, giving her a small pleading look when she looks at you. But instead, you only get a wink and she has her back turned towards you.  
Taking a small deep breath to calm yourself, you stay where you are and allow Jake to keep you company. He has no problem with shooting off onto another subject which is of Cronus; the man you ended up crashing into to help Jake out in the race. You learn that he's fine and because he doesn't want to “get mingled up in American mess” he left the race, quitting it the second he could get out of the hospital. And then the topic of that leads into him thanking you one too many times for helping him and Jake even offering you a drink (which you politely decline, telling him you dislike the taste of beer or “amber liquid”).   
Five beers later for Jake, he stands up and sways a bit with a song that comes on that you admittedly agree is catchy and even notice that you're tapping your foot along with. “Let's dance.” His words are a statement and no where near a question as he grabs your hand and pulls you out of your seat. You try protesting but he easily ignores you as he drags you towards the dance floor. Awkwardly, you watch the intoxicated man in front of you dance and try to look for a way out as he moves closer to you. Just as you spot a way out, he grabs you again but this time with his arms around your waist and pushing you in until you're pressing against him. You thank the club mentally for having dim lighting.   
“You need to live a little, Strider. Just empty out your ol' noodle for tonight and have some fun,” Jake tells you, grinning at you with his small overbite showing a little.   
“I..I guess it wouldn't hurt to dance just a little,” you murmur and somehow English is able to hear you because now both of his hands are on your hips and is making you move along with the music playing, moving along with him.  
“Dandy. It's not that hard to dance at all actually. Just move your hips along with the music and let it take you.” To be honest, you know how to dance but with this hot piece of man holding onto you and making you dance with him, you just can't force yourself to bring up the knowledge of it.  
And for the first time in years, you actually let yourself enjoy something nice like this for once and let yourself go. You move fluently with the crowd surrounding the two of you and the movements of your hips and body are in sync with the beat of the music and slide along perfectly with Jake's. You're pretty sure you're smiling at this point (at least just the slightest bit) but it doesn't falter your steps or stops the fast pace in which your heart is beating in. And yet even though you're being carried away easily with all of this, you don't allow it to take over most of your conscious when you notice Jake meaning in a bit to close to friendly terms.   
All you hear is a small “Kiss me” from him before he's leaning in and you're trying to lean away because no, this isn't supposed to be happening. He isn't supposed to be trying to lean in and kiss you while not even aware of what's fulling going on around him because of the alcohol in his system. And you lean as far back as you can but his arms hug you close and the second you feel contact on your lips your whole body goes rigid.   
Sure, you wish to sleep with Jake and would like to kiss him but not when he's intoxicated. Which gives you clear permission to pull away from his soft lips to tell him, “No, English. Not...this isn't right.” He only hums a little and you can easily see his eyes are closed in the dim colored lights flashing about. You're sure he didn't hear you and you take it upon yourself to “help a chum out” by leading him over back to the bar. There, you make sure to pay for the drinks Jake forgot to pay for while you feel the slight movement of a hand wondering down the small of your back. You swat it away easily before you lead him out towards the door to let him get some fresh air.   
You're not sure if you regret giving him more room to move because you now stand off to the side as you watch the Australian stumble about the parking lot, falling onto his ass a few times. The true hassle however wasn't trying to get him on his motorcycle so you can drive him to his hotel after telling Roxy to take the rental she got, but was trying to get Jake to drink water once you got to his place to help flush out the alcohol in him. He somewhat reminds you of a small, stubborn child, refusing to take their medicine.   
Except Jake's a guy you want to fuck and is also a grown ass man whining about not drinking any water unless you kiss him.   
The first few sips are easy to take care of and you can get away with just kisses to his cheek but that doesn't last long at all. “I'm not drinking any more until I get a proper kiss, Strider!” he declares and you sigh. Better than you having to chase him around his house to put his clothes back on. Still not wanting to kiss him, you give up with the water and only lead him to bed. It's there that everything begins to become more of a struggle.  
You try to remove his clothes to put at least pajamas on him but that results into him reaching out for your clothes. You swat his hands away a couple of times before he gives up because you're apparently being the difficult one here.   
Twenty more minutes pass and he's yet again being a hardass, not going to sleep until you once again kiss him. You refuse and leave his bedroom, closing the door behind you. And for a minute, you think you win when you hear silence. But the peacefulness shatters into a million pieces when Jake begins to poorly sing some song. This carries on for another ten minutes and you being you who doesn't want to deal with noise complaints, storm back into the room.   
He continues singing even then but stops when you're inches away from his face. “Please. Stop. Singing.” He smiles at you and then points to his lips. Sighing softly, you leaning in while muttering about how he wasn't even going to remember this in the morning and placed a light kiss on his lips. With a light hum, English yanks you into bed with him and wraps his arms around you.   
At this point, you truly give up with trying to argue against him and just lay there, only moving to take off your pants so you don't fall asleep in denim. He quickly falls asleep and yet again you start to have the trouble of falling asleep next to him.   
This time, not only because you're being held by him but because this time you kissed him-twice.


End file.
